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when i say “I love you”…i mean to say
thank you…for being here
that i look for you in every space i am in;
in every face i come across;
in everything…
that i also grow tired and weary…my muscles
ache; my knees grow weak…
and really when i say “I love you”…i’m saying
to love you is to toil without tiring
because my “i love you” does not tire or grow weary…
this is the suffering of someone who loves…embrace it

when i say “i love you”…i mean to say
that the world is unfair; and life
is hard but i will love you in all your imperfect being…
so let the storms come…let the sun melt me…
and let me show you that i am as imperfect as you are..

You are the object of this love;
the story that does not ebb;
the one moment that is never forgotten

You are my respite…the rest my weary soul needs…

So when i say “i love you”…i’m telling you that i am happy
that my heart is overflowing;
because, no matter how long the day is
i will come home to you…

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That Second Star to the Right

like so many others that came before me
and like all the others of my generation
we believed in Peter Pan and Tinker Bell
and Neverland… and we were all
lost boys and girls…believing in pixie dust
and mermaid lagoons…a magic moon
and Captain Hook and tiger Lily…
believing in eternal childhood…
in never growing old or growing up…
if only pixie dust could be purchased
over the counter – so we could fly
towards that second star to the right
and straight on ’til morning…

but unlike the others –
i was compelled to stay behind…
so much for the abundance
of happy thoughts  that crowd my mind
and compete for attention to be recalled…
unlike the others –
i never found that source of pixie dust
to power those happy thoughts to aid in my flight…
unlike the others i had to stop dreaming
of Peter Pan…and Tinker Bell
and Neverland…and mermaid lagoons…
and a magic moon and Captain Hook
and tiger Lily…of never growing up…
and unlike the others –
i had to resign from my post as a lost girl
and had to find myself…
but i kept fighting not to forget –
Peter Pan…and Tinker Bell
and Neverland…and mermaid lagoons…
and a magic moon and Captain Hook and tiger Lily…

and now unlike the others
i’ve found myself all grown up…
no longer lost…but still young at heart
and i’ve managed to fashion for myself
a pair of white feathered wings…

so i bid you farewell…look for me in the sky
heading towards that second star to the right
and flying straight on ’til morning…

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and when she saw that glint
of sadness in your eyes
did she ask you if you wanted to go
or whether you wanted to stay?
or did she take your face in her hand
and distract you with her seductive
kiss to make you forget
the sadness which clings to you?…

and when she felt the disregard
and the coldness in your touch
did she ask you if you loved her
and whether you still wanted her?
or did she take you in her arms
and laid your head to her bosom
to make you inhale her hypnotic scent
and lulled you into forgetting
your past love?…

and when she heard the hollowness
in your voice during rare conversations
did she ask you what your heart was feeling
and what it whispered in silence?
or did she sing you her song
to take your mind away from
the memories which you held intensely?…

did she love you?…does she love you still?…
how did she love you?…how much did she love you?
does my love compare?

Love on the 27th

i see hearts when lamplights illuminate

puddles that randomly line sidewalks

and pathways after a rainy afternoon…

heart-shaped Raindrops  right after

they accumulate on leaf bases

and right before Gravity pulls

them to the earth and leaf apices let go – gently…

as if exhaling – breathing a silent sigh

as if caressing the world with love –

i’d like to think…

and sometimes I see hearts –

shaped by coffee cup stains,

in soft fluffy clouds and double rainbows,

in melted sundae cones and ice cream…

in kaleidoscopes and prisms…

in colors…and the sun…

and then I see love…or hear it

in musical notes that float

from violins and pianos and guitar strings…

in lullabies…in the whispering winds

in the soft lapping of waves…

and then I feel love…and taste it

in apples and pears…

and peaches and dew…in candies

and chocolates…in raindrops…

in tears…in kisses…in you…

Lazy Monday

and so we talked about love
of being in love…of forever…
of faithfulness…of wanting
to be true…of going against history
and its infinite repetitions…
about dying…of separation…
of expectations…and disappointments…
of never making promises..
of leaving…of living – for the moment…
of getting old and forgetting…
of life…and dreams…and plans
for the far future and the coming weekend…
and my thoughts floated –
like bubbles out of soap recipes…
some eventually bursting…others
dissolving slowly…disappearing
into thin air…eventually forgotten
with sleep…

Hearts and Autumn

autumn comes around slowly…
like an old friend walking at
a leisurely pace towards
an appointed time and place
where company awaits
his return from his year-long retreat…
and the Maple, Oak and Elm
welcome him by their abscission…
shedding their leaves
for the autumn breeze
to blow them away…
just like hearts – returning –
finding respite on quiet nights
when all of its loneliness and pain,
and unfulfilled wishes and dreams…
and some rare moments of happiness
are whispered to the night breeze
in silence…in secret…in hopes
that a murmuration of starlings
or perhaps a gulp of swallows will
carry them away in their flight…

One True Love

there are days when i wonder
whether you sang her songs
or whether you asked her
to dance with you out of the blue…
allowing her head to rest –
gently on your shoulder while
holding her in your arms and
swaying her to silent music…
sometimes when all the world
lays quietly with you in your slumber
i wonder whether she loved you
or just wanted you for company
and whether you loved her
like you used to love me…whether
you told her you loved her as frequently
as you whisepered them to me…
and when i lie beside you
quietly holding on to this love,
my heart whispers to yours:
“yes, I love you…and i loved you
even when you broke my heart…
i loved you then…
with all my broken pieces…”