Her Last Love Letter

Dear M., she wrote
in lovely strokes and beautiful cursive…

in each line…love letter
she poured out her heart
ending each sentence with
a tear…and a fragment of the love that still clung to each cell
of her battered heart…

she wrote of their memories…
of lessons learned…of realizations…
of the love they once shared…
of what was left of who they once were
to one another…

and she wrote her goodbye…
a painful farewell
to all the years they shared…
the plans they made…the promises…
the dreams they dreamed together…
the intimate moments…
and to the piece of her heart which only belonged to M…

Duet – Rachael Yamagata and Ray LaMontagne

feeling extra sad and i’ve had this on repeat since i started work today..i thought i’d share this…one of the most beautiful songs i’ve listened to in a while…

Oh Lover, hold on
’till I come back again
For these arms are growin’ tired,
And my tales are wearing thin

If you’re patient I will surprise,
When you wake up i’ll have come

All the angerwill settle down
And we’ll go do all the things we should have done

Yes I remember what we said
As we lay down to bed
I’ll be here if you will only come back home

Oh lover, i’m lost
Because the road i’ve chosen beckens me away

Oh lover, don’t you rome
Now i’m fighting words I never thought i’d say

But I remember what we said
As we lay down to bed
I’ll forgive you oh
If you just come back home

Hmmm mmmm
Hmmmm mmmm

Oh lover, I’m old
You’ll be out there and be thinking just of me

And I will find you down the road
And will return back home to where we’re meant to be

’cause I remember what we said
As we lay down to bed
We’ll be back soon as we make history.

Relapse (5)…Rainy Afternoon

i stepped into
the rainy afternoon
and let the raindrops
cover my tears…
one can always
count on the rain
to bring a certain kind of nostalgia…
a melancholy of sorts…
a certain kind of loneliness
which cannot be satiated
by anything other than
a simple embrace…
a hand to hold…
and maybe a kiss…
or just someone’s presence…
just your presence…
that’s enough warmth
to compensate for the coldness
of the rain
and the dark clouds that loom
above me…
i wonder where you are…
or what you’re doing
in this cold weather…
are you holding someone else’s
hand?…
are you holding her in your arms?
i guess i shouldn’t ask…
i wish you were holding me…
i wish you were whispering
reassuring words in my ear
to calm this prevalent trepidation  
that keeps me awake these days…
oh this longing tears at me…
where do i find the strength
to stand on my own and
not long for you?…

Image

2010…04.19

there is a sadness that grips my mind
and gnaws at my heart…
it is insatiable…constant and consuming…
like poison…slowly mixing in with every
drop of crimson running inside me…convoluting
how does one quench this sadness?..

then i realize that there is no remedy
for any loneliness that’s self inflicted..
one cannot purge himself
of any loneliness when
he or she loves melancholy
like chocolates and ice cream…

05.10.12

Tell me again how it was…
How we were…
So I can understand
The ending to our story..
Maybe a touch…a kiss…
To remind you of
How it was…How we were…
But then I see that
You’re already making
Resolutions to forget…
And though I try to do the same,
I notice that I’ve ran backwards…
Probably, so I’d remember you
For always….however foolish…
But now I’ve grown tired
Of chasing and holding on
To our memories…
They seem a blur these days…
Maybe I’m getting used to your absence…
I notice the white trace
Of that silver band on my finger
has slowly disappeared..
And my hands no longer search for yours…
No longer wanting to fill the spaces in between…