Luna x Sol

She was the moon, mysterious and ethereal;

He was the sun, bright and magnificent.

The day she was born

Was the day he died;

His arrival,

Was the day of her departure.

They were each other’s destiny,

Yet they were never destined to meet;

They were each other’s fated pair.

And both unaware, followed different orbits.

Though fated, they chased and ran,

And followed others

Without pausing to realize the restlessness in their hearts.

They were always a distance away, sometimes a breath,

But their paths would never cross

-Maybe not in this lifetime,

But perhaps in the next…

Hopefully, in the next.

The Faithful Lover

The faithful lover remains steadfast in their love;

Constant, in their trust;

Fearless, and generous in giving,

without regard for gains and losses

—until they themselves are spent….

They accept what they are given

and never ask for more;

Sometimes, the faithful lovers

forget themselves as they continue to forgive

their lover’s sins of commission,

yet not forgetting; not because they are keeping score,

but to remind themselves

in the moments when they are alone

—perhaps during their countless monologues in the shower;

perhaps on nights that are too quiet

with only the chirping sounds of crickets left for company—

that love is real,

and that every sacrifice will be worth it in the end

—until they are numb, and no longer recognize themselves….

Oftentimes, the faithful lover deliberately

ignores their delicate boundaries,

breaching the fine line between compromise and blind submission….

However, when faced with the universe’s disenchantment,

even the weak can muster up the courage

to walk away;

shedding off their mottled skin that has lost its glow

—eroded by their endless abandonment of their old self

to accommodate and adjust to their lover’s demands,

continuously forgiving…

Yet some who manage to walk away

forget to also forgive themselves;

they carry the blame on their shoulders,

asking what they lacked,

how or why or where they failed,

why they weren’t enough….

Some faithful lovers eventually find their peace, with time

—they are fortunate enough to heal, and find lasting happiness

amid the chaos and their struggles;

But sadly, some aren’t as lucky, and the blow pushes them

deeper into the mire

—losing themselves and never finding the strength

to look inside themselves and examine their scars,

instead they let it fester, and bleed…

and they bleed on others…

settling for dysfunctional affection and dependence….

Love begets love, and the faithful lover deserves a faithful lover too.

A BL Story

Two guys walk into a bar and order drinks.

One orders a whiskey sour,

the other an old fashioned.

There was instant chemistry,

and the cozy ambiance had them drinking

to Troye Sivan’s Seventeen –

sipping and swallowing the melody,

breathing in the rhythm,

and ingesting the alluring scent of whiskey

mixed in the atmosphere of quiet conversations.

The lyrics, reminiscent of their wild youth

that has mellowed with age and

the clinking sound

of ice melting in the glass.

The melody, entangled gracefully

with the meandering cigarette smoke

as it wafted from intimate corners.

They found themselves drunk

on whiskey and love.

Instead of “I love you,” I said…

There’s only a few I can recall since

it’s been a while

and the memories are slowly fading

with each day that pass in a blur.

Take care…

Don’t forget to eat…

Take your time. I’ll be here waiting…

Relax…I’m sure you did great!

You were an answer to one of my prayers…

This song reminded me of you…

Let’s start over!

Thank you…

Good morning…

Good night…

I’ll be fine…I hope you’ll be happy

I’m letting go now…


Things I Never Told You…

Or maybe I did, but I’ve forgotten and just wanted to say again;

I remember the days before you left

How I bit my tongue so much and swallowed these words

a bitter aftertaste still lingers in my mouth…

[That] I’d already given up on trying to hold us together;

I’d already let you go, even before you left on that gloomy July afternoon two years ago;

I stopped loving you at one point in the years that we were together;

I regret taking you back and trying again…

I felt suffocated too, and I also wanted to run away from the life we had together;

You’ve become a burden too heavy to carry…

And I’ve grown tired of trying to understand your fickle nature;

Sometimes I wish I’d stayed away when I told my friends that I would…

I should have followed everyone’s advice;

I should have listened to my intuition when it told me you’d never change for me;

It’s been such a relief…

Since you left, everything seems to be falling into place and I struggle less each day;

I’ve had more breathing space;

Thank you for leaving…

I hope you’ve finally found what you’ve always been craving for all this time;

In spite of all the hurt and the betrayal, I genuinely want you to be happy.

Day 4. A Note on Love and Suffering

suf·fer·ing /ˈsəf(ə)riNG/ (noun): the state of undergoing pain, distress, or hardship.

Suffering is ultimately a choice, albeit a difficult one. It is difficult in the sense that although we are aware that suffering usually equates to heartbreak, pain and hardship, we turn a blind eye to logic and plunge ourselves head first into a situation or a choice which would bring us some form of suffering.

This is usually the case for aspects of our lives which heavily involves our emotions, such as (but not limited to) love, friendship and family…most especially love.

Love – romantic love  to be exact – is probably the one emotion which rewires our logic, clouds our judgement and our sense of right and wrong.  When love is involved we make decisions or actions which cause us to suffer or make others suffer. Sometimes, we break our own hearts or we break others; sometimes we bleed on others because of our suffering or others bleed on us because of their sufferings.

So, can it still be considered love if one is suffering for love or because of it? Some say that we sometimes mistake attachment for love and we suffer because of the attachments we’ve formed throughout the course of a relationship. We suffer because of the memories we choose to keep and the moments we choose to chain ourselves to…

So how do you know it’s genuine love and not merely a form of attachment, or a desperation or a loneliness which we think can only be filled by another person’s presence? We suffer or some of us choose to suffer because of love…so if love and suffering always go together, should we reconsider before we love another?

Day 3. You Looked like James Dean

I saw you standing against

a graffiti-covered wall

looking aloof, seemingly uncaring…

And i thought

You looked like James Dean –

a headful of disheveled quiff-like pompadour hair,

white shirt, ripped jeans,

a Harrington jacket;

a stick of unlit Lucky Strike between your lips.

Clearly you spelled trouble –

a rebel without a cause;

but such was your allure –

casually indifferent while yearning

for love…

And I couldn’t help myself

from falling deep into the intensity

of your stare;

and walking straight into your chaos,

intertwined with the scent of romance.

End of day Loving

I love the smell of the sun seeped into your hair

Mixed with the scent of shampoo you used this morning.

It reminds me of the summers of my childhood –

running along the shore on a bright sunny day…

seashells and sand sparkling in my memory…

Nostalgia slowly wraps its arms around me

and I wrap mine around you…

I snuggle closer…inhaling…

Taking in your scent and the comforting warmth of your back.