My 29th Chapter on the 26th…

and so the 26th has passed and i turn to my 29th chapter…and these thoughts make up the year which lead to the end of my 28th…

1. growing up can wait…be a kid whenever you can and cherish the moments when you’re able to be one because you’ll never know when you’d need to forget that you’re still a kid…

2. you’ll never be prepared for what life brings you…no matter how many times you rehearse a scene or practice your dialogues life’s crazy script has a way of modifying itself at the last minute…

3. heartbreaks are always a good thing…heartbreaks teaches us so many things about ourselves…you get to learn and relearn things you forgot along the way…

4. bad decisions are never bad…it’s all about perspectives but then again bad decisions tend to be hard to swallow once you realize there’s lessons to be learned from them…like a pill with a bitter aftertaste ๐Ÿ™‚

5. the world will never run out of people who make excuses for themselves…heck i’m guilty of doing the same once or twice ;)..but hey, i try to take responsibility for my actions and decisions as much as I can…whenever i can…

6. that in spite of everything that’s been said and done, how you see yourself should not depend on other people’s opinion of you…learning to brush things off and focusing on your own values will keep yourself at peace…

7. expectations are not good for your well being…when you expect things disappointments are not far behind…

8. that no matter how lonely you feel inside, life will surprise you with something that can make you smile…it may come as a simple greeting from your 6-year old neighbor ๐Ÿ™‚

9. a cup of coffee is never too hot on a hot sunny day….especially when you’re sharing this with people who are there to encourage and lend an ear to your present woes…

10. real friends will always be there when you need them…lending you their apartment keys when you need a place to crash when you feel lost…

11. reconnecting with friends is like a cup of hot chocolate during gloomy days ๐Ÿ™‚

12. sometimes we break our own rules…not only because we want to but because sometimes it’s the right thing to do…or so we thought ๐Ÿ™‚

13. no matter how convicted we are about certain events in our lives,ย  we’ll always find a reason to give someone a second chance…

14. there’s always a lesson to be learned…somewhere in the chaos of things…

15. it’s never too late to write…and the loneliest moments are usually the best inspiration…

16. it’s never too late to talk to Him…it’s never too late to trust in His plans and to keep faith that amidst all the heartaches, His plans are good…

17. grab opportunities no matter how scary and uncertain things seem to be…those opportunities might not come again should you decide to look the other way…but if you do…accept the consequences of your choices…suck it up if you have to…

18. (in conjunction with #17)…regrets are never a good thing…

19. being kind to others or being shown kindness in one way or another will always leave you smiling ๐Ÿ™‚

20. pride has no room when it comes to love…

21. love will always move you to do things beyond your own beliefs…

22. sometimes, you have to take life as it comes…don’t make too many plans…an adventure once in a while is a good thing…like traveling to unfamiliar places in manila and getting a tattoo ๐Ÿ˜‰

23. you can always be a better person…we’re all a work in progress…hopefully we’re all progressing towards something better…

24. listening to music can be therapeutic…especially when unknown artists churn out songs that just leave you speechless in their awesomeness…

25. sometimes doing things which seem insane to others is the only way to keep your sanity intact…”hey mr. penguin, so how have you been?”…

26. you can never get too much sleep ๐Ÿ™‚ … take a nap whenever you can…but please refrain from dosing off in places where you risk losing anything of value or being taken advantage of…

27. we are all capable of letting go of the most familiar things and the most comfortable human connection…sometimes we need to let go of these things and confront the unfamiliar to realize that we are worth more than how we are treated…things have a way of gettingย  lost and people tend to leave…it’s okay to cherish their memories but then we’d have to learn to draw the line when it’s no longer wise to hold on to these memories…

28. i am beautiful…i define who i am and my worth is not dependent on anyone else’s opinion…

and lastly…

29. your FAMILY is the greatest treasure you’ll ever have and the love you get from the peopleย  who make up your FAMILY can never compare to any other…

BDAY

Advertisements

Lazy Monday

and so we talked about love
of being in love…of forever…
of faithfulness…of wanting
to be true…of going against history
and its infinite repetitions…
about dying…of separation…
of expectations…and disappointments…
of never making promises..
of leaving…of living – for the moment…
of getting old and forgetting…
of life…and dreams…and plans
for the far future and the coming weekend…
and my thoughts floated –
like bubbles out of soap recipes…
some eventually bursting…others
dissolving slowly…disappearing
into thin air…eventually forgotten
with sleep…

Hearts and Autumn

autumn comes around slowly…
like an old friend walking at
a leisurely pace towards
an appointed time and place
where company awaits
his return from his year-long retreat…
and the Maple, Oak and Elm
welcome him by their abscission…
shedding their leaves
for the autumn breeze
to blow them away…
just like hearts – returning –
finding respite on quiet nights
when all of its loneliness and pain,
and unfulfilled wishes and dreams…
and some rare moments of happiness
are whispered to the night breeze
in silence…in secret…in hopes
that a murmuration of starlings
or perhaps a gulp of swallows will
carry them away in their flight…

Contemplation

I wonder what color loneliness has…
gray perhaps…like gloomy weather…
I wonder whether if its texture
is like sand…rough and grainy…
i guess loneliness is more like
the waves that comes crashing onto
the shore…endless…

I wonder what color pain is…
red perhaps…like the flame…it burns…
I wonder if it tastes like rain
and saltwater…or if it’s sound
is like the humming silence
one hears in an empty room…

I wonder if independence
and freedom always equates
to leaving someone behind…
to heartbreaks…

I wonder if you ever tried
to listen for my heartbreak
while I sat weeping…
and you contemplated
on how best to leave me…

I wish to be nameless…
faceless…anonymous…
I wish to go
where nobody knows me…
my name..or my past…

where present is only a concept
and time winds and bends
according to one’s will…

where memories
can be taken out like
photographs…to be sorted…
filed…and discarded accordingly…

but alas, such a place
does not exist…
and i am left to confront
reality…
perhaps in dreams?
or Alice’s Wonderland?
or maybe in death?

Tears

my tears are unspoken truths…
they are painful memories…
my quiet sadness…

my tears represent time…
each teardrop a period…
in which
i’ve kept myself from
thinking about you…

i restrained myself
from begging you
to come back to me…
to hold me when i feel sad and alone…
to kiss me when i’ve had a bad day…

i picked myself up
in spite of my desires
to sit in a corner
and just let the days pass me by…

my tears are pieces of
you and me…slowly
washing away…

wonโ€™t you catch these
tears that i shed?…
these tears are my diamonds…
they sparkle like jewels…
and glisten like the sea
under the sun…

Andar conmigo

walk with me awhile
before you leave me for the last time…
sail with me…in ships in bottles
towards imaginary horizons…
over uncharted seas
and undiscovered islands…

come…build a world with me…
lets build skyscrapers
and recreate your favorite
city…perhaps New York?
lets use plaster molds
and lots of sand and just
enough water
to hold them all together…
then we’ll pretend to be giants
and gods roaming the earth….

come…sit with me awhile
on the edge of our love’s innocence
before her beauty took you
away from me…

come…walk with me awhile
until the sun sets behind us
and the stars decorate
the dark velvet palette that is the sky…

stay awhile…walk with me
until we reach the end of this road…
but i feel your steps
slowing down…growing heavy
your hand slipping away…
i see your soul getting weary…
like memories…slowly
dissolving into nothing…

Coffee Cup Stains

worlds apart…you and i
and all we can do is
imagine…
imagine the distance
slowly becoming nothing…
our worlds coming together…
like puzzle pieces
falling into place…
and yet the distance
which separates us
is all too real…
while this love affair
is quite the opposite…
surreal..virtual…
yet intoxicating…like
a high from laced caffeine
in chipped cups
making coffee cup stains
on paper coasters…
like this love affair
between broken hearts
making tear stains
on fresh satin sheets…

Image