09.01.12

these dreams of late
leave me waking wide-eyed…
wondering…second guessing
the reality of where i find myself
in my waking hours…
and the strangeness of these dreams
pull me towards an abyss…an endless
fall towards you…i fall slowly…
as if drifting…like a feather;
gracefully swaying with gravity…
and in my waking hours
i find myself
listening for your smile…
waiting for the caress from your eyes…
only to realize that i am alone…
so i close my eyes and try hard
to go back to dreaming…but
sleep fails to come to me,
and my dreaming becomes a conscious
imagining of being with you –
sharing moments punctuated with a kiss –
burning…passionate and intoxicating…
and as if on queue, my arms
reach out to your side of the bed
only to find it cold and empty…occupied
by the silence that has filled the room…
i curl towards the empty space that
used to be yours…and i
rifle through memories…as if turning
the pages of your journal – trying to find the page
meant only for me…a page filled with
who i was to you – written in your heavy
cursive…but i find none…disappointed –
i open my eyes to be greeted by
sunlight refracting through my window…

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Dreaming

i dreamed

i was in flight
and saw the sky
turn into varying
shades of blue
as clouds
turn into different
shades of gray…

i land softly
on a shore of some sort
and walk barefoot
gathering sands
between my toes,
in the same way
moments etch themselves
into memories…

i walk farther ahead…
and find myself treading
on shards of glass –
each a broken promise
and yet
i sensed no pain…
despite the traces
of crimson footprints
i left in my tread…

i continue on my way
and not far ahead
a procession…a funeral
but there was no coffin
to be seen…
they weren’t burying
a loved one…
they were burying
their broken hearts…
casting off their pains…

i left that scene
not noticing tears
had escaped my eyes…
i come to a river
where a boat
seemed to have
been waiting for me
and the figure
holding the paddle
beckoned me closer…
as if hypnotized
i boarded the boat;
slowly we paddled…
the river reflected the sunset
beautiful and warm
like an embrace –
comforting…
i close my eyes…
letting the breeze
kiss me where tears
had left their mark…

i wake from my slumber…

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