Our love story…

do you remember? i do…i remember riding the same bus; getting off at the same stop…you – walking ahead of me…me..taking the elevator ahead of you…i left you at the lobby…you chatted with R…training…then we became friends…

we shared with your heartaches then and encouraged you that life was better away from your heartaches…we were friends…weren’t we?…

i wonder when it all began for you..this love story that i speak of now…it seems a blur to me…initially i kept my distance from you..telling you it was impossible…but you won me over with your persistence, with your sweet ways and all the small things you did for me…you won me over…

at first i acted like as if i had no wish for attachments…but that was merely a desperate act to cover my insecurities and to protect my heart…and yet you were fate which i seized eagerly…like a child…and we were happy…weren’t we?..or maybe it was just me…

i held on to you…and at one point you were it for me…my unconventional fairy tale…my happy ever after…i was prepared for that forever…i tried to keep you free for i had no right to confine you to myeself…but time has a way of making us forget…i forgot somewhere in our journey together to keep you free…i forgot the instant i put down my guard…i started falling…and kept on falling…knowing you would be there to catch me…but somewhere along the fall i thought you were also falling with me…i was naive and selfish…immature and too insecure…but i trusted that you were falling with me…no matter how rough it got…i didn’t notice you had already found a ledge to break your fall…love makes one blind and we trust too much…i continued falling…i guess i must have closed my eyes at some point and i didn’t see that my fall was about to stop…i fell hard…imagine a fall from a 30-storey building then hitting pavement after accelerating…i ended up broken…battered and bruised…

it’s a miracle i survived…i walked away like an injured pup – limping…but somehow i managed to patch myself up to hide the scars…i kept walking…not knowing which way to go or which path to take…but i guess fate,wanting to compensate  steered me towards safety…in the company of  friends and family…faith…but i kept looking back…somehow hoping you were following…but all i’d see each time would be your shadow…growing longer in the twilight before disappearing completely in the night…and again, somehow fate in one of her moments brought us together for a brief instant – 2 weekends and some days…and just when i said i wanted to give “US” a chance, you had given up again…you left me in tears…then came this unbearable feeling of missing you after some time…then the bargaining, for a piece of that old familiar comfort…a little trickle of that love which used to be mine…it seems fate is playing her games again and this quiet desperation amuses her…a last ditch attempt to confuse you perhaps before she implements her algorithm to transform our parallel paths into asymptotes…i wonder what the future holds…shall we leave it to fate?…et ceci est la partie où je dis “ au revoir mon amour jusqu’à ce que nous rencontrons encore. je vous souhaite bien”

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