Deja Vu (06.14.12)

i saw you
standing in the doorway
and my heart sank immediately
somehow i knew
what was about to happen…
and so we sat down
for that last meal together
yours were hot coco and pancakes…
mine a sad burger patty meal…
and in the course
of that conversation
i couldn’t hear
anything else
except my heart breaking once more…
i wonder how it was possible
that a heart already broken
can break into so many pieces again…
and all i could think of doing
was to run away..
i wanted to drown out
the sound of your voice
and just walk away…and i did…
it was like deja vu…
all i could do was
cradle myself and break down…
i’ve always known
i was setting myself up
for this pain
and yet i let it continue and unfold…
am i such a masochist
for this pain?
for this sadness that you bring?
for this heartbreak?
it’s quite a sick cycle
i can’t seem to get out of…

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